sorry if my expectations of you are too high. but you've really disappointed me, time and time again. but i'm glad that my passion hasn't died because of you.

"尽力了" 的定义是什么？

first day in labour ward, i almost cried when i saw the baby being delivered alive.
second day in labour ward, i almost cried again when i saw the baby being delivered dead (it was an intrauterine death at 26 weeks).

2 days of attachment in the labour ward has sort of made the picture in my head clearer, of where i want to head in at least the next 3 years. why should i be worried that my clinical skills won't be on par with the experienced midwifery trained staff in the labour ward? I'm sure they have put in a lot of hard work before they can get the respect from the doctors... the emotions that i have experienced these 2 days- the happiness of bringing a new life into the world, the support to be given to the mother in the most painful moment of her life, are the emotions that i want to experience everyday, definitely not entertaining some patients who think that they must get the most out of the service they paid for. and with the skills, i'm sure i can do more meaningful things outside of this little red dot...

I'm not a person who can ignore patients' call because i still have other work to do.
I can tolerate patients complaints, but I cant tolerate poor working relationships among colleagues.
I cannot tolerate inconsistency.
I cannot tolerate senior staff who don't know their work well, yet like to pick about the simplest mistake junior staff made. I cannot find a reason to respect them.
I do not mind being scolded if I made a mistake, but I cannot stand being told off when there's no reason at all.
I cannot stay in a place where I'm not happy at all.

Don't expect any respect from me when you have said something that a supervisor shouldn't be saying. I will NEVER respect a supervisor who compares the subordinate with herself.

if you take pride in whatever you do, is there a need to grumble/complain? One year as a nurse, i've learnt that work is never ending. why dont you spend the time concentrating on your work rather than thinking and grumbling about the never ending work?

i hope i won't be a grumpy nurse 10 years down the road.

things happen for a reason. within the week that i am feeling very pessimistic about nursing, two very sick patients thanked me by my name. the kind of "thank you" filled with sincerity, telling you that they are sorry for troubling you, but grateful to you for being there for them. it reminded me that i dont hate nursing. i just hate how nurses are being treated in Singapore.

it takes two hands to clap but one hand to slap. i guess we can't only blame the public, other healthcare professionals or even our own big bosses. No use complaining how fed up we are among ourselves in our small little world, yet displaying a happy and contented image in the public, telling people that nurses are happy people. no use complaining among ourselves about the lack of respect when we don't have the professional image and knowledge that we are supposed to have in the first place. no use when the media reports thingS that are not reflective of the nursing in Singapore at all. nursing in Singapore will probably remain as what it is even after hundred of years.

i am only going to give myself 10 years (at most) here. if nothing happens, probably i should not think about contributing to a change, but think about making a change in my life.